


I Always Know

by ignite_pass_tetsuya



Category: Free!
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Kisses, Love Confessions, M/M, New Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignite_pass_tetsuya/pseuds/ignite_pass_tetsuya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's no secret that Haru has never been good with expressing his emotions, but with Makoto, he doesn't need to. Makoto knows how Haru feels, because Haru's actions speak louder than his words--even when Haru doesn't realize it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Always Know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wechoosewhatwearesammy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wechoosewhatwearesammy/gifts).



> I had a lot of fun writing this! I'm glad I was able to fill the prompt. This is actually my first ever fic for the Free! fandom!  
> To wechoosewhatwearesammy, I sincerely hope you like it!  
> To everyone else, I hope you enjoy it as well!
> 
> Always feel free to leave comments/suggestions if you so choose. <3  
> Thank you in advance for reading!

Makoto awoke with a start. Sitting up and letting the blanket pool around his waist, he clutched at the fabric of his shirt, fighting to calm his racing heart. The light film of sweat covering him caused his clothes to feel sticky and uncomfortable against his skin. Bad dreams and nightmares weren't unusual for him, but he could never seem to acclimate.

He glanced at his nightstand; the clock told him it was 4:30 in the morning. He should still have plenty of time to sleep… assuming that his brain wanted to cooperate. He lowered himself back down to the bed, not bothering to pull his blanket back around his shoulders, and stared at a spot on the ceiling. He willed himself to fall back asleep, though try as he might, his mind wouldn’t rest.

He grabbed his phone, his first instinct to text or call Haru like usual. It was early, but Haru rarely used his phone anyway and would likely sleep through any alerts.

He settled with texting, hoping that if his nightmare still troubled him in the morning, they could talk it over then. He explained what had happened and that he was fine—a little uneasy, maybe, but fine—and hit send, then rolled over to attempt to sleep again.

He definitely didn’t expect to hear the buzzing of his phone hardly two minutes later. Frowning slightly, he grabbed his phone and flipped it back open, finding he had a new message from Haru.

_I’ll be there in a few._

Makoto’s heart rate took off again.

“Eh?! That’s not what I meant!” He exclaimed before remembering that _it was nearly 5:00 in the morning and the rest of the house was trying to sleep_.

Frantically, he typed out a new message to Haru.

_It’s really okay, Haru! This can wait until the morning! Don’t worry about it right now!_

He sat with his phone in his hands and waited for a reply. He expected a simple "ok", but he never received anything.

“Haru…”

Suddenly, he heard a soft knock on his window, nearly jumping out of his skin. He needed every bit of willpower he had not to scream again.

He walked to the window and pulled back the curtains, revealing a slightly disheveled Haru rubbing at his eyes. His hair stood up in every direction, much different from the sleek form it usually took. Despite the situation, Makoto couldn’t help but smile. He gave a small wave, then unlocked the window and slid it open. Makoto grabbed Haru's bag from him and offered a hand, just like always, and helped pull Haru inside.

“Haru… You didn’t have to. I tried to tell you it could wait until morning.”

“It’s fine.” Haru said simply. “No big deal. I know it’s still been an issue even when you don’t tell me about it, and you need sleep, too.”

“I-I… Uh… Thanks, Haru.” Makoto finally said. He smiled softly and shifted his gaze to the floor, unsure of what to do or say.

This wasn’t new; they never needed many words to understand each other. Though it was usually Makoto who read Haru’s mind around others, they each knew their silent communication was mutual when they needed it to be. Haru simply preferred gestures over words.

Carefully, Haru reached out and brushed his fingers against Makoto’s, pausing with a soft touch, but progressing no further. He had noticed Makoto deep in thought and didn’t want to accidentally scare him out of his current state.

Instead of flinching, Makoto lifted his gaze back to Haru. Light from the moon filtered through and accentuated the deep blues in Haru’s eyes, akin to the water he loved so much.

Haru finally broke the silence. “Makoto. We should go back to bed.”  

“… Yeah. Sure,” Makoto agreed, but still refused to look away.

Haru again ran his fingers across Makoto’s palm, smirking as he watched goosebumps rise on Makoto’s muscled arms. He pressed his fingers against Makoto’s, one by one, until their palms were flush, and let the contact linger. Makoto’s skin was soft, despite the long hours spent in the chlorine of the pool. His hands were much bigger than Haru’s, but it felt nice… a safe haven.

The contrast was strange. Makoto’s strength was obvious, and he could probably use that strength for whatever he wished. He could’ve picked a rougher sport, like wrestling, and excelled… but his tender and kind personality would never allow it. He would never be able to stomach the thought of potentially harming others, accident or not. Instead, his hands are used to braid Ran’s hair, apply Band-Aids to Ren’s knees when he falls, and help Haru out of the pool every chance they get. Haru silently thanked whoever was responsible for this outcome.

Haru felt Makoto’s hand shift against his the slightest bit. He looked up to find Makoto was now looking down at their hands as they both moved to lace their fingers together. Makoto squeezed his hand gently, and Haru reciprocated the action.

“Okay?” Makoto suddenly asked. This was new. They had always been connected in their unique way, but only recently agreed that they were more serious than friends. They hadn’t held hands like this since they were kids, but this time, the meaning behind it was much different. Makoto was understandably nervous, but he didn’t need to be.

“Okay,” Haru said easily.

Makoto rested his forehead against Haru’s. He closed his eyes and felt the tension drain from his shoulders. The residual effects of his nightmare were fading into the background, the dark circles under his eyes the only evidence it had ever existed.

“Did you need to talk about what happened?” Haru asked in a whisper.

“Ah… It’s nothing different than before, really. It’s… not worth repeating." Makoto swallowed past his dry throat. "Still just the… seeing you drowning thing.”

“It’s your call, Makoto. I won’t force you to talk, but I’ll always listen.”

“I know, Haru. Thank you. For always being here.”

Haru squeezed his hand tighter in response.

“I’m tired,” Makoto finally said with a sigh before laughing softly. “I’d like to take you up on that offer to sleep now.” He pulled away from Haru, opening his eyes once again.

Haru stared back, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Okay.”

Haru pulled on Makoto’s hand and led him to the bed, sitting down on the edge before bringing Makoto with him. It took some maneuvering; Makoto’s bed wasn’t made for two people, but they made it work. Haru lay on his right side against the wall, Makoto’s arm acting as a comfy neck pillow as he lay on his back. Haru cuddled into Makoto’s side and pulled the blanket over them, then laced his fingers through Makoto’s again.

“Comfy?” Haru asked.

“Mmm, very,” Makoto said. “You?”

“Mmm,” Haru hummed in agreement. “Wake me up if you have another nightmare, okay?”

Makoto sighed again. “Haru, I—“

“Nope,” Haru cut him off. “No buts. No objections. It wasn’t a request; I shouldn’t have phrased it as one.”

Makoto giggled, his chest rising and falling with the rumbles that passed beneath their intertwined fingers.

“Okay, I get it. I promise I’ll wake you up, if that ends up being the case.”

“You promised. You can’t break it,” Haru insisted.

“Nope. I won’t. And Haru?”

“Yes, Makoto?”

“Thank you. Again. For being here for me. It might sound silly, but I feel… grounded when you’re here, holding my hand and everything. Safe.”

“They’re yours to hold,” Haru said.

Makoto squeezed Haru’s hand again, resting his chin on Haru’s head. He could smell the ever-present tinge of chlorine clinging to him along with the clean scent of shampoo. The scent was distinctly Haru, and to Makoto, it was home.

“Good night, Haru.”

“’Night, Makoto. Sleep well.”

With those final words, the two of them both drifted off into a deep, restful sleep, free from nightmares of the past.

* * *

Makoto was the first to wake when the morning sun finally streamed through his windows. It was unusual, seeing as Haru was used to waking up early for his morning bath. He was certain he’d wake up to an empty bed, the blanket a bunched-up mess shoved against the wall where they inevitably kicked it off in the middle of the night from the heat of being surrounded by each other. He saw none of that, however, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked down, where Haru’s dark hair was a mess, using his chest for a pillow, the blanket draped low around their waists.

Haru’s fingers were still lightly gripping his own. They weren’t intertwined anymore, but they were still close, a gentle pressure reminding Makoto that, yes, Haru was there for him. Always. 

Makoto slowly moved his fingers back into the spaces between Haru’s, his free hand slipping through Haru’s soft hair. It had tangled into loose knots while he slept, the hair on the back of his head bunched up and flipped up slightly at the ends from the way they got stuck as he rested. The sun was bringing out the subtle blue tones in it, and Makoto smiled at how everything about Haru seemed representative of his favorite hobby.

Makoto busied himself with working the knots from Haru’s bedhead, waiting patiently for him to respond. He guessed it was probably relatively early, maybe about 9:30 or so, but neither of them were much for truly sleeping in anyway. Then again, Makoto wouldn’t mind staying right where he was a little while longer.

Eventually, Haru began to wake up, curling himself tighter into a ball before stretching out and rubbing at his eyes. He propped himself on his elbow, looking up at Makoto through hooded lids.

“Good morning, Haru,” Makoto greeted him.

“’Morning,” Haru mumbled back. “How long have you been up?”

“Hmm? Oh, probably only about fifteen minutes or so.”

“You should’ve woken me up,” Haru replied.

“I only _had_ to wake you up if I had another nightmare, remember?” Makoto said, smiling.

Haru tried his best to glare, but in his half-awake state, it wasn’t very intimidating.

Makoto laughed. “I didn’t want to bother you. If you were tired, I wanted to let you sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” Haru insisted as he rested his head back on Makoto’s chest, stifling a yawn.

“Sure, Haru.” Makoto was trying his best not to laugh any more, but it was difficult. He hadn’t spent the night with Haru in a while, and he forgot how… un-Harulike he acted in the mornings.

“Breakfast? Believe it or not, I think we actually have mackerel.”

Haru lifted his head once again, eyes shining.

“Please.”

* * *

With the superior cooking skills (and pickiness over his mackerel), Haru ended up cooking them both breakfast while Makoto stuck to brewing tea for them and setting the table. They ate in a comfortable silence, only speaking intermittently while they did. Makoto did the dishes, offering the bath to Haru first.

“You’ll join me when you’re done?” Haru asked out of the blue.

“Sure, I—wait what? Haru!” Makoto dropped the plate he had been cleaning into the soapy water. He had begun replying before his brain processed the message, and when it finally caught up… Well, _that_ wasn’t what he was expecting.

“It’s not a big deal, but I won’t make you,” Haru said, shrugging a little. “The house is quiet; I assumed everyone was gone.”

“Uh… Well, yeah. My parents are spending the day out together and Ran and Ren went to a friend’s house. They won’t be back until tonight.”

“Then I’m not sure what the issue is. Unless you’re just not comfortable with it, in which case, I understand. Don’t feel pressured.” With that, Haru turned to walk toward the bathroom.

Makoto was still rooted to the spot. It could be difficult to follow Haru sometimes, despite knowing him for most of his life. In his own way, he was letting Makoto know that he was comfortable around him, and he was okay with trying new things together. At the same time, he was reassuring Makoto that if anything made him uneasy, it was okay to put the idea on the back burner until later. He was casually throwing the idea into the wind, inviting Makoto to either grab onto it, or let it go and come back around another time, with no consequences either way. He thought how lucky he was that they had a great mutual understanding of one another.

Then came the real question. Did he _want_ to follow Haru? 

_Yeah... It'll be fine. I can do this._

Shaking his head and steeling his courage, Makoto quickly finished the dishes and made his way to the bathroom where Haru would be waiting.

What should he do? Just walk in? He was fairly certain Haru wouldn’t care either way, but it was still rude to just walk in, wasn’t it, even if it was his house? He didn’t know. Maybe this situation wasn’t like others, since he and Haru were… well, together.

In the end, he was unable to forego his manners (or his nerves), and he rapped his knuckles lightly on the door frame before sliding it open a few inches and peeking inside.

“Haru?” he called in a whisper.

Haru was laying back, eyes closed, with a towel bunched under his head. He looked relaxed, which was a welcome sight. He opened his eyes to look at Makoto as he entered, sitting up and giving Makoto one of his rare, genuine smiles.

“Are you sure, Makoto?”

“Y-yeah, it’s fine,” Makoto stuttered. “I think… I think I’ve wanted something like this, actually? But I wasn’t sure how to approach it… since this is all still new to me. I’m still nervous.”

“Don’t worry. Come here.” In a reversal of their usual manner, Haru held his hand out to Makoto in invitation.

Makoto walked into the bathroom and slid the door closed behind him, feeling heat rising in his cheeks but managing to appear fairly calm on the outside. He wanted to blame the steam rising from the bath water, but he knew that couldn’t account for everything.

Looking back at Haru, hand still outstretched patiently, Makoto felt something click. He would be _fine_. There was no need to worry around Haru. Besides, this gave them a chance to do something he’d been wanting: an opportunity to be close, without the pressure to do anything… more. Sure, Makoto wouldn’t mind if he got to steal a kiss here and there, but with them, everything was relaxed. There was never any rush to jump into things they weren’t prepared for, and they could follow their own pace.

Makoto fidgeted with a loose string on his T-shirt before pulling it over his head, then stepped out of the shorts and boxers he’d worn to bed. As he approached, Haru slid forward, giving him room, and held onto Makoto’s hand to be sure he wouldn’t slip.

Their combined mass caused the water level to rise around them, but it didn’t overflow. Haru settled comfortably between Makoto’s legs, enjoying the feeling of strong arms wrapped loosely around his waist. He could hear the soft _thump, thump, thump_ of Makoto’s heartbeat, even and steady (though maybe a little fast), like his personal metronome lulling him into contentment.

“Okay, I admit this was a good idea,” Makoto said, feeling his own body relax.

“I knew it would be.”

“Did you know I would come?”

“I didn’t, actually… But I hoped you would.” Haru nuzzled his head back into Makoto’s chest.

Makoto smiled to himself and reached to the side for the bottle of shampoo sitting there.

“Here,” he said. “Before you fall asleep.” When Haru didn’t move, he added, “I knew you were still tired.”

“You’re comfy,” Haru said, a small pout noticeable in his voice.

Makoto laughed softly, squeezing a small amount onto his palm and rubbing them together before setting them in Haru’s hair and massaging his scalp. The smell of coconut filled his nose. He was careful to get Haru’s entire head and avoid letting any suds drip into his eyes.

“Okay, tip your head back,” he instructed as he dipped his hands underwater.

Haru did as he was told. His eyes were closed, and his long eyelashes were nearly touching his cheeks. Makoto stilled for a moment, taking in the sight before him. He acted on instinct, hardly thinking about what he was doing as he brushed his fingers across Haru’s cheek, letting his thumb trail down to Haru’s chin. Haru cracked one eye open in question, but Makoto couldn’t help it. He tilted Haru’s chin up a little more and brought his lips down to meet Haru’s.

Haru’s eyes both opened for a second, slightly stunned, before he let them fall shut again. He pushed back against Makoto’s mouth just enough that he felt Makoto’s heartbeat begin to accelerate at his ear. Haru pulled away for a second to face Makoto squarely, hooking his legs over Makoto’s hips before bringing their lips together once more.

He opened his mouth slightly, and Makoto quickly caught on to the idea. He felt Makoto’s breath against his lips each time they pulled away, gaining confidence with each touch. He didn’t care what happened so long as he got to enjoy this moment. And _dammit_ , he was going to enjoy it.

He nimbly trailed his fingers from Makoto’s chest down to the bottom of his ribs, finally settling on Makoto’s hips. The feeling on Makoto’s overly sensitized skin caused Makoto to break away for a moment, panting quietly. The next time they met, Haru delicately trailed the tip of his tongue over Makoto’s bottom lip, receiving the satisfaction of a sharp inhale from the other. Smiling a little, he decided to test the waters further and sucked on his lip, nipping slightly.

This time, the response was audible.

“Ah… Haru…” Makoto sank his fingers back into Haru’s neglected hair, finding purchase to adjust their angle. He tilted Haru’s head a little before connecting their mouths again, but this time he was the one asking for entrance. He flicked his tongue against Haru’s lips and was almost immediately granted access.

Makoto didn’t really know what was happening. This was uncharted territory, but he knew he wasn’t thinking so much as doing. Whatever felt right, he was going for it. And since he heard not a single complaint from Haru, he decided he was doing pretty well.

When their tongues collided, Makoto noticeably shivered. Despite the still-warm water, he could feel goosebumps rising on his arms. Everything boiled down to urges, instincts. And although it was physically impossible at this point, he was still trying to pull himself closer and closer to Haru, feeling that any space separating them was too much. He could feel his heart trying to beat right out of his chest, but he didn’t care. Nothing compared to this. The feeling of having Haru here, in his arms, and knowing that Haru chose to be with him.

The weight of that thought made him pull away to try to collect himself.

Haru grabbed onto Makoto’s biceps as a way to steady himself as they both fought to control… well, _everything_. It wasn’t a secret to either of them that they were reacting in ways that they couldn’t quite control, but neither of them chose to comment on it.

“Ah… Sorry, Haru,” Makoto said. “I… got a little sidetracked.”

Haru leaned his forehead into Makoto’s chest, leaving a patch of suds. “It’s okay. More than okay.”

Makoto’s chest rumbled with laughter. “I’m glad, but… we should probably rinse your hair now.”

“True.”

“Turn around for me, then.”

Makoto set to work rinsing all of the suds from Haru’s hair, then letting Haru return the favor when he insisted. The water was beginning to cool off, so they decided that it was time for something else.

“We should stay in,” Haru said quietly, feeling a little nervous as to how Makoto would react to the underlying message.

Makoto finished drying his hair with his towel and let it fall around his shoulders. He shook his head. “Sure, that’s fine. There’s plenty we can find to do here, I’m sure.”

They both turned away, suddenly finding the floor of the bathroom quite interesting.

* * *

_This is it. I’m dreaming. I’m going crazy. Whatever this is, it can’t be real._

Makoto was chanting these phrases to himself over and over again, because surely they had to be true. This was the world of his dreams: a world where he and Haru were together, sharing in their personal piece of bliss. It couldn’t possibly be reality… except that it was.

While lost in his thoughts, Makoto hadn’t noticed Haru leave his bedroom to change. When he saw he was alone, Makoto wrapped his towel around his waist and followed suit.

Makoto turned the corner to his room and saw Haru standing in front of the window, a few lingering drops of water clinging desperately to the ends of his dark hair before falling and running down the back of his neck, down his spine, disappearing into the cotton of the towel wrapped around his own waist.

_Yeah. Dreaming. Nothing in reality can be this perfect._

Makoto slowly walked over to Haru and wrapped his arms around Haru’s shoulders, resting his hands over where Haru’s heart was beating strong and steady. He rested his chin on Haru’s head, and when he looked up and watched out the window himself, it dawned on him quickly why Haru was so enthralled.

“Oh. It’s raining. I didn’t know it was supposed to rain today. I guess that more or less makes our decision for us, regardless.” He kissed the top of Haru’s still-damp hair. “It looks cool with the sun still shining, though.”

“Yeah,” Haru replied. He placed his hands over Makoto’s forearms. “What do you want to do?”

“I was thinking we could… Just have a lazy day,” Makoto replied. “Do whatever we want. Watch a movie, take a nap, play some video games… Anything we want. If you’re okay with that.”

“I like that,” Haru said. “What first?” He turned around in Makoto’s arms.

Makoto smiled, planting a kiss on Haru’s forehead. “Movie?”

Haru smiled back. “Sure.”

* * *

The movie had been a good idea, in theory.

After they had changed into shorts and Haru had stolen Makoto’s orange shirt ( _“you have plenty of shirts; I just happen to like this one”_ ), they had ended up putting on Ponyo, deciding it would be cute and a nice way to relax. Their hypothesis ended up being true, as they were currently asleep on the floor in front of the TV.

Not surprisingly, Haru had ended up falling asleep first. They were laying side-by-side, pinkies linked with each other as they focused on the film. At one point, Makoto felt Haru shift beside him. When he looked over to ask if Haru wanted anything—water, a snack, another pillow—Makoto had found Haru’s head tilted to the side, cheek resting on his pillow, his eyes closed, and his breathing soft and even. Laughing quietly to himself, Makoto had turned on his side and pressed a kiss to the tip of Haru’s nose before squeezing his pinkie a little tighter and closing his own eyes as well.

They had woken up again about two hours later, Makoto’s arm now slung around Haru’s waist and Haru’s head tucked snugly against Makoto’s chest. They each knew the other was awake, but they were both reluctant to move from their comfortable cocoon. The music from the movie’s title screen was acting as background noise.

“Are you hungry, Haru?” Makoto asked, breaking the silence. “It’s past lunch time.”

“Mmm. Not really. I ate a lot at breakfast.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

Haru hummed an affirmative and gripped the front of Makoto’s shirt lightly. Well, now that he thought about it…

“There _is_ something I’d like, actually,” Haru began.

Makoto pulled away slightly, looking at Haru. “And what is that?”

Foregoing a voiced answer, Haru wrapped his fingers tighter in the collar of Makoto’s shirt and brought him closer again, stopping just short of contact.

Makoto froze. “Haru…? What are you—“

Haru pressed a finger to Makoto’s lips, silencing him. Makoto continued to stare, his eyes slightly wide with anticipation.

“I’m going to kiss you.”

It was the only warning Makoto got before Haru moved his finger, only to reclaim the same spot with his lips. Haru felt a short, satisfied hum from Makoto’s throat as the latter’s fingers tightened slightly at his waist.

It was difficult for Makoto to keep his fingers from digging in too hard. He didn’t actually want to mark Haru’s skin and leave evidence for his coaches to see, but it was so damn _difficult_ when Haru pushed himself up—without breaking their contact—and straddled Makoto’s hips.

“Haru…” Makoto warned between breaths. He didn't want to lose control.

“It’s okay,” Haru answered, leaning down to rest his forehead against Makoto’s. “It doesn’t have to go anywhere… I just want to be close to you.”

“Mmm. Okay. I’m more than fine with that,” Makoto whispered, lifting his chin slightly to touch their noses together. “Is… everything…?” he asked, suddenly nervous that Haru’s unusual display of emotion was due to something negative.

“No, nothing like that,” Haru reassured him. “I can’t explain it… It’s just a feeling that I need to be close to you. I… need to feel… I—“

Makoto silenced Haru’s ramble with another press of his lips. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I understand what it is you’re trying to say. And I feel the same.” He hooked a finger under Haru’s chin and brought their mouths together once again.

He couldn’t help it. Makoto felt his fingers tightening around Haru’s waist seemingly of their own accord. His body didn’t seem to want to follow basic commands anymore. His brain might as well be in outer space for all the control he had over it.

Haru reached up to grab a fistful of Makoto’s soft hair, tugging a little, but not too hard. Makoto let him take control. They were still learning, still inexperienced, but that didn’t seem to matter much now.

Breaking away, Haru moved down to kiss at the spot where Makoto’s shoulder met his neck, then moved up to kiss the pulse-point that was _definitely_  too fast now. Continuing on his course, he moved up to nip at Makoto’s earlobe before kissing the sensitive spot right under it. Makoto inhaled sharply, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

_Bingo._

“Haru, what… Do that again. Please.”

Haru didn’t need to be asked twice. He tilted Makoto’s chin away, gaining better access. He took his time kissing back up Makoto’s neck in a similar fashion before reaching The Spot. He kissed it softly, using his tongue, to leave a wet mark, and blew on it gently. The cool air assaulted Makoto’s skin, and his back arched slightly as he let out a whimper.

“Ah, Haru… It’s…” He trailed off, words failing him.

“Good?” Haru asked.

“Yeah. Let me show you.”

Makoto lightly gripped Haru’s waist again and gently flipped them over so he was straddling Haru instead. He was careful to support most of his weight himself, even if his trembling arms were making it difficult. He carefully lay on top of Haru to give them as many contact points as possible, resting on his elbows.

Makoto trailed his fingers lightly over Haru’s waist, feather-like, and Haru shifted underneath him restlessly. He could swear electricity was running in currents under his skin at every point Makoto touched, but he couldn’t explain why. Haru wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck and brought him close, kissing him deeply before letting go again.

“Why… Does it feel like that?” Haru asked in a whisper. “You’re just touching me. It shouldn’t feel…”

“That intense? Like fire?” Makoto supplied.

“Yeah. Like that.”

“I don’t know, either” Makoto said. “But I like it.”

He kissed at Haru’s collarbone, sucking at the skin gently enough to avoid leaving marks. He worked from one side to the other, taking his time exploring every inch of skin he could find.

“Mako…”

Makoto giggled at the use of the nickname. “I understand.”

He began to make his way up Haru’s neck, albeit slowly. He pressed slow, soft, open-mouthed kisses to the skin, noting Haru’s fingers tightening in his hair as he advanced. Makoto ghosted his fingers over Haru’s waist again, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the latter. He made his way up by Haru’s ear, stopping on the way to place a few kisses on the side of Haru’s chin. When he finally reached the same sensitive spot under Haru’s ear, he stopped.

“You’re so beautiful, Haru,” he whispered against his skin before laying open-mouthed kisses on the spot in return.

Haru shivered, the ghost of breath and the soft brush of lips making his skin burn. _How? He’s just kissing me…_

He grabbed the sides of Makoto’s face, forcing him to kiss him full on the lips again. Neither of them particularly requested to deepen the kiss so much as they both granted it without question. Haru ran his nails lightly across Makoto’s back, trying and failing to regain control of his actions. When his hands unconsciously reached the band of Makoto's shorts, he spoke up.

“You need to stop me,” Haru said between kisses. “Before this goes somewhere I can’t stop. I… Don’t think I’m ready for much else. I don’t think _we’re_ ready so soon.”

“You’re probably right,” Makoto agreed, reaching up to comb his fingers through Haru’s hair. “Though it’s tempting.”

” _You_ of all people are saying this?” Haru asked. It wasn’t usually in Makoto’s nature to be so… straightforward about things like this. Usually any venturing into more intimate territory was met with stutters, stumbles, and overall awkwardness. This was a different side.

“Well, I see it this way: Haru is to Makoto as water is to Haru.” Haru looked at him with confusion etched on every feature.

Makoto continued, “You’re always so happy around water, yeah? It’s like a birthday present to you every time you see it—your eyes light up and everything. It’s obvious that swimming is really important to you just by the way you act. And, well… you’re important to me, too, so I want to prove it to you. That’s all I really need. And I don’t want to ruin anything by letting something go too far too soon. I know you feel the same way.”

Haru didn’t know what to say. He had learned early on that Makoto was one of the most caring, understanding people out there, but hearing him say this to him without a hint of hesitation, not a single hitch in his voice… Haru knew Makoto couldn’t be more serious. It was comparable the night of the festival, when Makoto was trying so desperately to make Haru understand him that he didn’t think—he just spoke the words his heart needed Haru to hear. Haru hadn’t truly _heard_ him then, but everything he heard _now_ was coming through loud and clear.

“I love you,” Haru blurted.

_Shit._

_Weren’t we just talking about not going too fast?_

“Uh… Sorry. That was a little counterproductive, wasn’t it?” He sunk down into the cushions, throwing a hand over his eyes and turning his head away, avoiding Makoto’s gaze.

Silence.

_Say something, please?_

Makoto didn’t speak but shifted above him, climbing off of Haru and returning to a sitting position. Haru took this as his cue to leave and made to stand up. He’d go back to Makoto’s room, pack up his things, and leave, and give them both time to cool down and refocus.

A hand wrapped securely around his wrist, pulling him gently back down to the floor. They were sitting analogous to the way they had been in the bath just a few hours prior.

“Where are you going?” Makoto asked. Haru finally looked him in the eyes again.

_Wait. Is he…?_

“You can’t just tell me you love me and then walk away,” he continued in a shaky voice, burying his head against Haru’s shoulder. “You didn’t even give me a chance to say it back.”

Haru was silent for a few beats. “I don’t… Understand.”

“I love you too, Haru,” Makoto stated, as if it were as simple as breathing. “I always have. And I think I always will. I’m not sure I ever had a choice. Loving you has always been so natural to me that I didn’t even realize I could give the feeling a name until last year, when we swam that relay together with Rei and Nagisa. You amaze me every day, Haru, and I want to keep being amazed by you. I love you.” He wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist and squeezed gently, finally letting a few tears drop against Haru’s shoulder.

“Makoto… You know I’m not good at this,” Haru said.

“I know, it’s okay. I don’t need you to—“

“No,” Haru cut him off. “I… want to try, at least.”

Haru felt Makoto nod against his shoulder.

“I… Probably don’t tell you enough that you’re important to me, too. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever really made it clear…” Haru trailed off, feeling incredibly embarrassed. How could he have been so careless?

“You’ve told me before,” Makoto insisted, his voice slightly muffled. “Remember that night you came home late and I fell asleep by your door? You told me then. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Still… That was once. You tell me all the time, and I just… don’t.”

“There are more ways to show emotion than just speaking, Haru.” Makoto looked at Haru and placed one hand on each side of his face to force their locked gaze to hold. “There’s a reason I know you feel the same, and it’s because you show me. Your actions tell me a lot, even if you don’t believe it. It’s been how many years? And you still take my hand every morning, and every time I’m there to pull you out of the pool. You never leave me behind. That speaks volumes to me.”

Haru shook his head, gently removing Makoto’s hands from his face and holding them in his lap. He looked down at them while he struggled to form coherent sentences that were capable of expressing himself clearly. When he couldn’t come up with anything, he threaded his fingers through Makoto’s and pulled himself closer, falling easily into Makoto’s warmth.

“See? That’s what I mean,” Makoto whispered.

Haru hadn’t noticed what he’d done, but he could see where Makoto was coming from.

“You didn’t even say anything. But I still know.”

Haru picked his head up and watched as a gentle smile touched Makoto’s lips, his eyes crinkling just slightly at the corners. Haru freed one of his hands to run his thumb over Makoto’s cheek bone, making Makoto smile wider at the touch.

“You’re still doing it. I don’t even think you realize.”

Haru’s hand stilled for a moment before resuming its ministrations. “You’re right. I don’t.”

“You don’t need to worry, Haru,” Makoto promised. “I’ll always know.”

“It’s still nice to hear it, though. I’ll try to be better about it. Because you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Haru,” Makoto said before sealing the deal with a kiss.

* * *

That night, the two of them sat on the stone steps leading down from Makoto’s house, sipping sparingly on cups of hot cocoa Makoto’s mother had made when they got home. The twins were spent from whatever excitement occurred at their friend’s house. Both were out cold when they returned and had been put straight to bed, leaving Makoto and Haru in the relative silence of the warm night. The distinct smell of post-rain earth accompanied them.

“Thank you for last night, Haru. And today. It was nice to just spend the day together.”

“Yeah, it was… perfect,” Haru said.

Makoto looked at Haru. He knew he shouldn’t stare, but he couldn’t help himself. Haru’s fingers were wrapped securely around the mug in his hands as he blew softly on the hot liquid to help cool it off. The porch light was highlighting Haru’s strong cheekbones, and his eyes were a daring shade of dark blue in the face of night. He was—

“Beautiful.”

Haru turned his way, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Er, well… It’s the truth, you know? You’re absolutely beautiful, Haru. You’re amazing.”

Haru turned away again, cheeks burning at Makoto’s sincere words.

_I said I would try..._

“ _You_ are the one who’s amazing, Makoto,” Haru said, watching the liquid move around in his half-empty mug. “Everything about you. I think that half the reason I have so much trouble finding words around you is because there aren’t appropriate words to describe you. None of them are sufficient enough.”

It was silent for a few seconds. “Haru… Haru, look at me,” Makoto requested in a low whisper. When Haru finally turned his way, he wasted no time in lifting Haru’s chin, crashing their mouths together. It was the only way he could think to even attempt to convey his feelings when he knew simple words wouldn’t cut it.

Haru carefully set his mug down on the stone of the steps and angled towards Makoto as they parted, came together, parted once again. They were outside, in the open; Anyone could potentially see them. But he couldn’t possibly care less in this moment, because they were each holding the other in their arms, and nothing could beat that sense of security.

Surprising him, Haru felt Makoto’s tongue flick against his lips, and Haru immediately allowed them to meet, fumbling to grasp at Makoto’s forearm as he sighed with the contact. Makoto pulled back when the need for air won out, but not before softly taking Haru’s bottom lip between his teeth and pulling back, making Haru shudder. Makoto ran his thumb over the same spot he’d just nipped at, feeling Haru’s lip was slightly swollen.

“… Sorry,” Makoto said, letting a small smile cross his face that erased any seriousness.

“No you’re not,” Haru teased. Makoto only smiled wider in response.

“I said it was fine, anyway,” Haru reminded him. “Actually… Um. I have something for you.”

Makoto stared again. “What?”

“A present.”

“What for?” Makoto watched Haru reach into the pocket of his borrowed shorts and pull out a jewelry bag, plain beige in color, with a drawstring at the top.

“I’ve been carrying it around with me for a while, actually. Because I was thinking of the best time to give it to you. I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it, though, and I thought I would end up waiting until your birthday at this rate, since it’s so close now…” he trailed off.

“Haru… I don’t understand. What is this about?”

Haru shook his head, then began to undo the drawstring. He reached out and took one of Makoto’s hands and carefully shook the item out of the bag, letting it fall safely into Makoto’s palm.

“Oh, Haru…” Makoto’s mouth formed a small “O” as he gazed at the gift. “Did you…?”

“Yeah. I made it.” He fought off his embarrassment and forced himself to hold Makoto’s gaze instead of turning away. He’d been dreaming about Makoto’s reaction for weeks now, and he wouldn’t be pleased to miss the real thing.

Makoto turned the gift around, inspecting it. The bracelet in question had a nautical pattern, thin ropes of blue and green twisted securely around each other. One end had a small loop in it; the other had an anchor that would hold the bracelet together. And in the middle, carved out of the same wood he’d used for countless Iwatobi-chans their second year of high school, were a dolphin and an orca, bent together into the shape of a heart with their noses and tails touching. They both had one small jewel set in the eye—the dolphin had blue, and the orca green.

Makoto was speechless.

“Is it… okay?” Haru asked, nervous.

“Okay? Is it okay? Haru! This is perfect! This is wonderful! I’m sorry I don’t have better words for it, but… Thank you. Thank you so much, Haru!” Makoto wrapped his arms around Haru’s shoulders and squeezed tightly. He buried his face into the crook of Haru’s neck and simply stayed there, breathing in the calming scent that was distinctly Haru. Haru reciprocated, hugging Makoto’s waist.

After a moment, Haru tapped Makoto’s back and pulled back slightly. “Want me to help?”

Makoto smiled at him, nodding, eyes sparkling with happy tears threatening to overflow. Haru took the bracelet back and wrapped it around Makoto’s right wrist, hooking the anchor lock into the loop on the other side to secure it in place. It was a perfect fit.

“I promise I’ll take good care of it, Haru. Thank you.”

Haru took Makoto’s hands back in his, holding them in his lap. “This… Is the only way I knew how to say anything. It’s fitting after we talked about all of this today, so I figured I could give it to you now. It was originally meant to be more of a friendship bracelet, but when we decided to make our relationship official, the meaning changed. I want it to be… My promise to you. Since I don’t know how to say it very well. But… This is my promise of forever, if that’s what you want.” Haru rubbed his thumbs in little nervous circles along the backs of Makoto’s hands.

“Yes,” Makoto answered, still smiling. “I’m all in if you are. Forever.” Haru returned his smile, and they leaned forward in sync, brushing lips once again, sealing the promise.

When they finally returned inside the quiet house, they headed straight to bed, wrapping themselves in blankets—and each other—once again, with the promise that Makoto would wake Haru up if his nightmares returned.

But there was no need.

With Haru by his side, forever, Makoto knew that nightmares would have no hold over him any longer. Not when reality was much better than his dreams.


End file.
